Warmth, High Expectations and Emotional Constancy

TLAC Techniques 60 & 61, pages 438 – 442

Show warmth and have high expectations at the same time to send a clear message of respect, care and professionalism

We are socialised to believe that warmth and high expectations are opposites and cannot co-exist: if you are more of one, you are less of the other. This false concept can undercut your teaching.

We should aim to be caring, warm and nurturing AND have high expectations, be strict, by the book and hold students accountable for their actions.

You need to show warmth and have high expectations exactly at the same time:

  • When you are clear, consistent and firm while being positive, enthusiastic, caring and thoughtful, you send the message to students that you want the best for them, and you respect them immensely.

You can make this dual approach effective in these ways:

1) Explain to students why you’re doing what you’re doing and how it is designed to help them: “Hannah, we don’t do that in our classroom because it keeps us from making the most of our learning time”

2) Distinguish between behaviour and people: Say “your behaviour is inconsiderate” rather than “You’re inconsiderate”

3) Demonstrate that sanctions are temporary: Show a student that once they have have completed a sanction, it is immediately in the past. Smile and greet them to show that they are starting over with a clean slate. You can tell a student, “After you’re done, I cannot wait to have you back to show us your best”.

Finally, by being showing warmth in combination with high expectations can help students overcome “the tyranny of the ‘or’”. For example, you can have fun and take your work seriously, you can be happy and also say no to self-indulgence.

Emotional Constancy

Emotional Constancy is deliberately lessening the intensity of strong emotion,  especially frustration and disappointment. It is a key part of the job.

Here are some tips for maintaining Emotional Constancy in the classroom:

1) Walk slowly

Walk slowly as you approach a situation where you have to intervene in behaviour. This can give you a few crucial seconds to compose yourself and choose your words carefully. It also shows students that you are calm, composed and in control of the situation.

2) Criticise behaviours rather than people

“That behaviour is rude” is a statement about a temporary situation.

With a little tweak to the statement, it will also allow you to show that you do not think the behaviour is a true reflection of a given student: “It’s unlike you to behave in this way. Please fix it immediately”.

Both of these options are better than making a permanent statement like "You are rude”.

3) Avoid globalising

Saying “you always” do X or asking “why are you always doing” Y makes the conversation about events that are no longer within a student’s control and that he or she may not even remember. This can make the issue seem bigger and less focused on the current specific action.

Videos

TLAC Field Guide Clip 73: Emotional Constancy & Strong Voice